The United Kingdom of Emmalina is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by King Alexander Saltzman with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, lack of airports, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.665 billion Emmalinans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alexandria. The average income tax rate is 50.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Emmalinan economy, worth 900 trillion Denarii a year, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 158,947 Denarii, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Religious households enthusiastically use whips in private, there's no representation without taxation, hordes of tourists are ruining the environment, and the government believes there is no problem that raising taxes won't fix. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Emmalina's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Emmalina is ranked 156,502^nd in the world and 2,252^nd in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -57.74 on the Scary Big Number Scale.