The Beastling States of Crystal Spires is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by High Chancellor Calisté Chenarn with a fair hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, public floggings, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 27.478 billion Spireans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caltris. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The enormous but inefficient Spirean economy, worth a remarkable 3,766 trillion Signets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 137,066 Signets, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kids these days know how to throw a proper punch, television executives are interested in turning High Chancellor Calisté Chenarn's zany home life into a sitcom, a rusted hulk in Caltris harbour has been voted the worst eyesore in Mystria, and the national security service are a bunch of crooks. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crystal Spires's national animal is the Northern Range Goat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Forntianism.

Crystal Spires is ranked 2,463^rd in the world and 1^st in Mystria for Lowest Crime Rates, with 136.77 law-abiding acts per hour.