The Hetmanate of Cossack Ukraine is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Hetman Arkady Vyhovsky with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, free-roaming dinosaurs, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.705 billion Cossacks are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of K'yiv. The average income tax rate is 56.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cossack economy, worth a remarkable 1,319 trillion Rodins a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 171,190 Rodins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

K'yiv's back alleys are rife with sausage eating, the stratosphere is full of "silent but deadly" attacks from Hetman Arkady Vyhovsky's rear echelons, grade school teachers mark homework with red "CITATION NEEDED" stamps, and on-call doctors who check their pagers during movies are banned from cinemas for life. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cossack Ukraine's national animal is the Nightingale, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Verdigrisism.

Cossack Ukraine is ranked 79,384^th in the world and 34^th in Aceon for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 2,940.47 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.