The Holy Empire of Conianvana is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tim Engine with an even hand, and notable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 11.404 billion Conianvanans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ginha. The average income tax rate is 73.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Conianvanan economy, worth a remarkable 1,549 trillion guilders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Book Publishing, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 135,853 guilders, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Fair-weather fans talk during plays while die-hard theatre enthusiasts stay at home, the tools of the trade for landmine clearance appear to be copious amounts of gasoline and a box of matches, signs of extraterrestrial life are just foreign astronauts evading Conianvanan justice, and the "good old days" of road traffic accidents and smog-filled cities are back. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Conianvana's national animal is the beaver, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Conianvana is ranked 39,284^th in the world and 6^th in Arkonos for Most Patriotic, with 32.69 flags saluted per person per day.