The Hellish Realm of Clutch2 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Almighty Clutch with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, public floggings, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 45.383 billion Clutchans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Clutchington. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Clutch2ian economy, worth an astonishing 22,588 trillion testicals a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 497,729 testicals, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,153,229 per year while the poor average 32,686, a ratio of 96.5 to 1.

People who make the leader's blood boil get boiled, endocrinology is a rapidly growing field of study, chest pains are considered part of the dining experience in Clutch2ian restaurants, and screams of citizens being "re-educated" echo throughout the rural regions of Clutch2. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Clutch2's national animal is the land pirranah, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the worship of Almighty Clutch.

Clutch2 is ranked 294,300^th in the world and 4^th in Lake golumania for Nicest Citizens, with 0.04 average smiles per day.