The Republic of Cleopas Dlamini is a mammoth, genial nation, remarkable for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-working, devout population of 7.863 billion Cleopas Dlaminians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.2%.

The powerhouse Cleopas Dlaminian economy, worth 802 trillion pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 102,008 pounds, with the richest citizens earning 9.6 times as much as the poorest.

Builders spend more time negotiating "tasteful architecture" than on actual construction, well-off serial killers write monthly checks to avoid jail time, flash floods that dams could have controlled regularly ravage small towns in mountain valleys, and access to the woods is only granted to those who bring a small shrubbery. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Cleopas Dlamini's national animal is the penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Cleopas Dlamini is ranked 214,593^rd in the world and 874^th in Dimmersun for Rudest Citizens, with 36.31 insults per minute.