The Holy Empire of Celdern is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Aurelian IX with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, enslaved workforce, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.463 billion Celdernites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jerusalem. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Celdernic economy, worth 714 trillion Celdernic Flames a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 206,133 Celdernic Flames, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 835,778 per year while the poor average 33,842, a ratio of 24.7 to 1.

Top gamblers bet against seedy hoopers, hospitals scramble for new disinfectants following a ban on rubbing alcohol, the dearly departed are remembered with a good meal, and citizens are forced to donate blood once every three months. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celdern's national animal is the Phoenix, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Sacred Protestant Christianity.

Celdern is ranked 309,749^th in the world and 31^st in THE SUPER POWERS for Nicest Citizens, with 0.21 average smiles per day.