The Kingdom of Cardmania900119 is a gargantuan, cultured nation, renowned for its disturbing lack of elderly people, pith helmet sales, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.892 billion Cardmania900119ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 67.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cardmania900119ian economy, worth a remarkable 2,174 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 199,667 Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

The optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem", space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space, the might of the entire Cardmania900119ian Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders, and children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Cardmania900119's national animal is the Scorpion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Cardmania900119 is ranked 278,714^th in the world and 159^th in Lily for Most Primitive, scoring -317.03 on the Scary Big Number Scale.