The Card of Bryan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Bryan with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, restrictive gun laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-working, cynical population of 29.345 billion Bryans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Spirituality, Administration, and Defense also on the agenda, while Welfare receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bryan. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.3%.

The very strong Bryan economy, worth a remarkable 1,018 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Furniture Restoration, and Trout Farming. Average income is 34,704 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.4 times as much as the poorest.

Babies are a small but significant export, there's no representation without taxation, citizens volunteer for tax audits to avoid the 80-page Practical Assessment Survey Tool On Religions, and the newest shade developed by Bryan's dye industry has been dubbed 'Agent Orange'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Bryan's national animal is the shark, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Bryan is ranked 13,191^st in the world and 5^th in Equilism for Most Conservative, scoring 86.62 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.