The Holy Republic of Barber Wire is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Yodle with an even hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, fear of technology, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 12.67 billion Barberians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yodle City. The average income tax rate is 56.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Barber Wirean economy, worth a remarkable 1,394 trillion Gold Coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,045 Gold Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Older citizens lament over the loss of law and order, returning vacationers often find that their property is now a construction site, the Small Council has more than a little influence, and minor parties are virtually absent in Parliament. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Barber Wire's national animal is the Zombie, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Yodlism.

Barber Wire is ranked 5,546^th in the world and 5^th in Disney World for Most Primitive, scoring 117.35 on the Scary Big Number Scale.