The Football Club of Bali United FC is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Johnny Jansen with a fair hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, daily referendums, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 4.839 billion Bali United live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of I Wayan Dipta Memorial. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Bali United economy, worth 824 trillion Rupiahs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 170,338 Rupiahs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 521,939 per year while the poor average 43,031, a ratio of 12.1 to 1.

Whales in captivity live in little more than glorified goldfish bowls, war vets look after war animals, academics have a bone to pick with free market entrepreneurs, and calling tech support mid-shootout is a common occurrence. Crime is totally unknown. Bali United FC's national animal is the Bali Myna, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Hindu Bali.

Bali United FC is ranked 11,249^th in the world and 9^th in Indonesia Nusantara for Nicest Citizens, with 29.36 average smiles per day.