The Helpdesk of Avalnier is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Bobo The Omniscient Chaos Overlord with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.738 billion Avalnierians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fuzzybottom. The average income tax rate is 94.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Avalnierian economy, worth an astonishing 18,291 trillion Chocolate Chip Pancakes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 684,085 Chocolate Chip Pancakes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,299,764 per year while the poor average 150,884, a ratio of 15.2 to 1.

Video evidence of cruel animal experiments tends to be of poor quality, trespassers entering Bobo The Omniscient Chaos Overlord's office are immediately vaporized, a degree of self-hatred is vital for a future in politics, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Avalnier's national animal is the Big Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Holy haberdashery of Batman.

Avalnier is ranked 128,875^th in the world and 5,369^th in Lazarus for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 38,992.87 Standard Monetary Units.