The Republic of Astornia is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Wiro Santos with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, infamous sell-swords, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.365 billion Astornians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sangata. The average income tax rate is 90.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Astornian economy, worth 852 trillion Yotroes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 115,766 Yotroes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

The government has implemented minimum wage laws, the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced, prisoners have been known to host cooking and home décor television shows, and the key to a long musical career is government contracts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Astornia's national animal is the Komodo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Kuil Ijo.

Astornia is ranked 6,815^th in the world and 1^st in Sparkalia for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 11,061.03 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.