The Federated Union of Ardsren is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by First Secretary Philip Hunter with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.5 billion Ardians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Auburn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.3%.

The very strong Ardsrenian economy, worth 443 trillion linares a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is 80,691 linares, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 357,202 per year while the poor average 11,391, a ratio of 31.4 to 1.

Exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling, half-submerged and flooded seaside hotels are technically still next to the beach, students are explicitly allowed to write answers on their forearms before exams, and there's no representation without taxation. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force. Ardsren's national animal is the Cordoran Bison, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Holy Orange Church.

Ardsren is ranked 265,613^th in the world and 152^nd in The Western Isles for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -3.16 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.