The Commonwealth of Apatchai is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Tom Oaks with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 4.686 billion Apatchaians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Red Stick. The average income tax rate is 52.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Apatchaian economy, worth 224 trillion pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 47,836 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Making up random numbers to name new asteroids is the bulk of astronomers' work, the nation's apology for those it has executed in the last year has come a little late for some, it's a marvellous night for a moon dance as the sparks on your home start to rise, and the government subsidizes those who produce the worst results. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Apatchai's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Great Spirit.

Apatchai is ranked 105,676^th in the world and 1^st in The Hub for Longest Average Lifespans, with 72.96 years.