The Holy Ecclesiarch of Saint Cinder is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Pope Gemstone with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, enslaved workforce, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.371 billion Saint Cinderians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sic Mundus Creatus Est. The average income tax rate is 99.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Saint Cinderian economy, worth a remarkable 2,886 trillion Blessings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 344,863 Blessings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military spending is on the increase, stoogery and pratfalls are about as scathingly clever as Saint Cinderian humor gets, the teaching of evolution has been banned, and the clergy of Pantheon of Saint Cinder remains a single-sex institution. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Saint Cinder's national animal is the The Great Auk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pantheon of Saint Cinder.

Saint Cinder is ranked 293,776^th in the world and 5,608^th in the South Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 0.09 average smiles per day.