The Allied States of Figlandia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ancepsinfans with a fair hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, avant-garde cinema, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.917 billion Figs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bushnell. The average income tax rate is 76.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Figgish economy, worth 497 trillion Shabbatzes a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 101,107 Shabbatzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Feeling like a winner comes at a price, the law is more interested in punishing crime than preventing it, Ancepsinfans is called 'Patches' at international summits, and economists claim no news is good news. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Figlandia's national animal is the Corkadrew, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Figlandia is ranked 4,941^st in the world and 141^st in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 131.4 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.