The People's Republic of Eastern Valskovia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Feodor Alexandrov with an even hand, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, enslaved workforce, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 8.707 billion Eastern Valskovians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zavutsk. The average income tax rate is 91.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Eastern Valskovian economy, worth 775 trillion tschekovs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is 89,029 tschekovs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Helicopter parenting is on the rise, Loud Patriotic Music Day has been ranked the seventh best new holiday of the year, the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption, and the armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eastern Valskovia's national animal is the Trakehner, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Eastern Valskovia is ranked 9,998^th in the world and 441^st in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 101.26 law-abiding acts per hour.