The Republic of Swiftyshire is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Swift Bliss with an iron fist, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, ubiquitous missile silos, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 13.059 billion Swiftoes are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry and Education also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital District. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Swiftyshirean economy, worth a remarkable 1,529 trillion gems a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 117,105 gems, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,056,654 per year while the poor average 1,581, a ratio of 668 to 1.

Scientists recently cloned the long-extinct feather-bellied Garfield, the cycle of extinction and rebirth is never ending, the automotive industry soaks up huge government handouts, and families are only permitted to have one child. Crime is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Swiftyshire's national animal is the Garfield, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Buorkhannism.

Swiftyshire is ranked 139,027^th in the world and 5^th in The Empire of Friendship for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,477.73 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.