The United Cantons of Northen Luxembourg is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by General Johan R Rutherford with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.344 billion Northern Luxembourgians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gaullegrad. The average income tax rate is 94.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Northern Luxembourgian economy, worth a remarkable 1,735 trillion Digital Pyks a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 273,634 Digital Pyks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's new Mylab space station is notorious for being the loneliest place above the planet, foreigners are treated with great suspicion, confused-looking pigeons slide gently off frictionless window ledges, and neighbourhood gossips whip up controversy about those receiving adult merchandise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northen Luxembourg's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Capitalism.

Northen Luxembourg is ranked 4,441^st in the world and 103^rd in The East Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 15,793.47 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.