The Kingdom of San Pellegrino Romana is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Chancellor Giancarlo Andreotti with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 25.468 billion Romans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rome. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Roman economy, worth an astonishing 10,142 trillion Roman Lire a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 398,251 Roman Lire, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,543,032 per year while the poor average 70,448, a ratio of 21.9 to 1.

Rome's iconic yellow taxis are nowhere to be seen, scientific journals publish third-graders' school essays, college-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper, and women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. San Pellegrino Romana's national animal is the manatee, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is polytheism.

San Pellegrino Romana is ranked 275,625^th in the world and 1^st in Novus Ordo Seclorum for Safest, scoring 7.31 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.