The Holy Republic of GarryOwen is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Garry Owen with a fair hand, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, zero percent divorce rate, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 38.242 billion Nationals are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The minute government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Spirituality, although Defense and Law & Order are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Riverdale. Income tax is unheard of.

The strong National economy, worth a remarkable 5,776 trillion bushels a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 151,041 bushels, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 472,916 per year while the poor average 36,987, a ratio of 12.8 to 1.

What's in your genes matters more than what's in your jeans, seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, daisy chain gangs plant flowers and pick up litter, and escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. GarryOwen's national animal is the Trash Panda, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Gott Mit Uns.

GarryOwen is ranked 259,994^th in the world and 4^th in Northern Europe for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 42.61 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.