The Scientific Republic of Grand Ganymede is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by beleaguered bureaucrats with an iron fist, and notable for its irreverence towards religion, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, cynical population of 9.378 billion Ganymedeans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Central Processing. The average income tax rate is 71.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Ganymedean economy, worth 768 trillion wetbacks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 81,921 wetbacks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

State dairy cow's milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets, exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles, rugby players that knock each other over always stop to make sure the other fellow is okay, and octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grand Ganymede's national animal is the silver fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Grand Ganymede is ranked 77,198^th in the world and 1^st in ma Toki Pona for Safest, scoring 91.57 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.