The Kirik-Ottoman Sultanate of Ponytus is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Rain Shine with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.286 billion Kirins are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Welfare, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Constantinople. The average income tax rate is 9.7%.

The strong Ponytusian economy, worth 103 trillion Bits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Tourism, and Gambling. Average income is 80,127 Bits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Money can't buy happiness but it can buy immunity to prosecution, corrupt industrial practices are spreading like a plague, unsolved crimes are often pinned on veterans with PTSD, and confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Ponytus's national animal is the Pheonix, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sunni Islam and Orthodox Christianity.

Ponytus is ranked 178,544^th in the world and 17^th in Fullworthia for Safest, scoring 57.14 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.