Confederation of Corrupt DictatorsBoard

Politicians.

The word conjures up plenty of adjectives. Traitorous, corrupt, backstabbing, bureaucratic, dishonest, loud, abrasive, short sighted, and so forth. However, the one that would stand out the most tended to be dishonest. After all, a claim made to the press is a claim easily twisted to mean something else to discredit said politician, thus very easily giving politicians a bad name.

However, for a Lady Disposen Lazura Hyan, that descriptor felt more apt on spies and the intelligence community. After all, the realm of intelligence was a game of fooling the opponent. Sleights of hooves everywhere except on actual cards. Anything written down was always another piece of evidence your enemy could always pick up and trace back. And the Snowlandian Intelligence Community, learning from the profession of their neighbour’s founder - Preventus ‘Governor’ Eye - wisely decided that dead drops with letters and words were a bad idea. Thus, audio cues and digital espionage had taken precedence.

However, that was the Snowlandian Intelligence Community. Not everyone within the Mleocunese Intelligence Community took that lesson.

The Intelligence Communities in the Empire, were frankly a mess of criss crossing deals, backroom agreements, and simple plain old obstructive bureaucracy that if an attempt was made to lay it all out accurately on an organisation chart, one would accidentally summon the Demon of the Sixteen Realms of the East Side of Westien.

It wouldn’t be surprising to investigate a Fascist Terror Group and discover that it was founded by Mleocunese Centre for Intelligence Activites agents, headed by a Snowlandian plant, with Lieutanents from the Calavarian Secruity Bureau, their propagandists originating from the MineLegoEquestrian Royal Intelligence Service and the Hyperian Military Investigation Force, and the rank and a file a mix and match of other Commonwealth agencies, and often not a single actual fascist among the mix.

As such, attempts and agreements were made to ensure the various intelligence apparatuses could work together.

Even then, intelligence agencies liked to butt heads within themselves.

This simply compounded the mild migraine being experienced by Disposen as she read the very annoyed memorandum from the MineLegotiponyian foreign service. They were sloppy, and had resulted in the Loreauans figuring out their industrial espionage ring.

And that had resulted in lots of mockery from all the other offices of the CIA. Office E was Industrial. Anything about the manufacturing of goods, the methods used in their production, to their recipes were under the purview of her Office, and this entire debacle was making a mockery of her name. Especially the folks at Office M, digital espionage.

The CIA was a bloated instrument of the Mleocunese, having Sections based on each region deemed important by them. Subsection HL was Loreau and her surrounding regions, subservient to Section T, the Confederation Section. And her Subsection supervisor was expecting more efforts in pushing the Loreauans… in the right direction.

Dispose - and by extension the Mleocunese government - would never publicly admit they found the Loreauans lacking in political development. However, they were still willing to admit in their secluded intelligence circles that they were, and they needed to do something about it. Sure, the Loreauns were a free democracy. But not active enough for the likes of the Mleocunese.

“Two years of work, wasted,” Muttered the man sitting opposite to Dispose. She was a pegasus, and held herself like how her family always taught her to hold. Like the MineLegoEquestrian emigrant she was, she was a bureaucrat. That was a sharp contrast to Lens Canning Nan. A certified Mleocunese born and raised, and he held himself with a hint of insanity that all Mleocunese seemed to hold. The CIA recruited either the best of the best, or the maddest of them all it seemed.

“Wasted indeed,” Dispose returned. Mleocunese humans tended to look mildly different to the Imperials back in MineLegotia and Equestria. Their fingers were more meaty than the thin and almost bareboned MineLegoEquestrian’s. His hair was notably more messy, and had that lighter variation than the typical and generic MineLegoEquestrian brown, “And the MineLegoEquestrians are going to hang us over this.”

“Yes, and MRIS is going to send you a communique stating that your Office sucks and that espionage should be left to them,” Lens replied with the tact of a rifle butt, “What do we do, boss?”

“We try, try and try again,” Dispose readjusted her the collar of her shirt, “We have to review. How and why did we fail?”

“That’s the problem. We can summarize that our recent addition got caught,” Lens leant forward, pointing at the file on the desk, “From hence, they got our ring. But how? Did someone leak him out? Did a mole here or elsewhere leak it? Or did we get sloppy in our addition that they caught on?”

“We don’t know where… we gotta infiltrate from a different angle then,” Dispose summarised as her eyes fell to the file. “Suggestions?”

The man tapped his fingers against the file, letting out a small hum before clicking them.

“Colonial industries?” He asked.

“Hmm, That… that would work,” The mare remarked, tapping her hoof against the table, “Prussia I suppose?”

“We can do that,” Lens nodded, his hand picking up the folder…

“As you can see this by our projections, this will most likely raise the support of our aligned groups by 3.2%,” Came the voice from the presenter in front of the room. The screen showed a map of the city of Berlun. The capital of the province that made up Prussia within Regna Loreau. The ally of the Multiversal Empire.

However, like the human spirit, the Multiversal Empire wanted more. And in pushing the Loreauans to drift closer to the culture of the Empire ensured that long term cooperation was a possibility. Thus, the efforts of organisations like the Local Organization for Public Transportation were of great importance to the various Intelligence Agencies of the Commonwealth.

Thus, here within such an shady room just outside of Frostgard, several important personnel were gathered for this presentation.

A boring presentation about a small organisation’s victory in pushing for more buses.

For the bored Princess-Governor Snowflake I, she wondered how her intelligence agency had ended up here.

At the start, it was so easy. Simple infiltration of enemy states and their bureaucracies, push the governments and weasel out truths and lies in order to leverage the enemy. It was simple.

And then the Commonwealth United Eyes Program kicked in.

The combined resources of so many intelligence agencies of the Commonwealth had allowed for them to attain more and more insane plans in order to further their goals of the spread of Harmony, Democracy, and Liberty. With the very boring methodology of the MineLegoEquestrians, the visionary activities of the Mleocunese, the vast wealth of the Snowlandians and MineLegotiponyians, and so many after.

Princess-Governor Snowflake ‘Economist’ Honoryang could feel her eyes slowly sliding into oblivion.

Of dreams of simple vacation on an island in the southern hemisphere….

It was a very relaxing idea that she could realise, she did have the power for it…

But the clopping of hooves against one another stopped her from enjoying such a dream, as she lazily opened her eyes. Glaring at the source, which was the grey coated stallion that was Director Eye. An unicorn with an eye of artificial origin.

“What?” She asked, taking note that the meeting had ended. With the people left in the room being her and the Director of the CIA.

“The meeting’s done, Snowy,” The raspy voice of the stallion rang out in the room. He raised an eyebrow at her, “You didn’t pay attention?”

“Of course,” She waved a hoof of dismissiveness, “I’m an economist, not an intelligence analyst.”

“Yet you’re a princess,” Director chuckled back, “You don’t give a sh!t about what your nation does in the sphere of intelligence?”

“I just don’t,” Snowflake sat her hooves down on the table, pushing herself up properly, “It’s not my job. And as long as the Prime Minister and her cabinet can do their job. I just don’t care.”

Director shrugged back as he pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up with his horn. With a flick, he threw a small manila folder over to her. Which she catched with the levitation of her own horn.

Snowflake raised an eyebrow as she opened the folder, with the title that was so eye-catching, Snowflake was surprised that her eyes didn’t fall out.

‘Operation: Turn the Lesbians into Liberals’

She couldn’t help but laugh.