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This is Quantojos News, reporting on all the happenings within our righteous empire, and today is an interesting day indeed. Simon José Francisco de Paula, Count of Southeast Unojoish Zealand, was raided by local colonial police for suspicion of treason. Instead of finding plans against the government, the squadron found 20 different dating apps on his phone. That, 70 pictures of scantly-clad models, and what has caught the adviser's eyes in LEO, 500,000 quintos worth of subscriptions to several different "OnlyFans" models. While the internet has begun to make fun of SJFP's incapability to communicate with women (Mostly quoting a leaked DM he had saying "You look scrumptious"), the Council of Advisers had planned to try the Count on charges of embezzlement.