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Business Subsidisation: First: Nelvana III top 0.4%. Second: Yannia top 1%. Third: Grave Raven top 1% Ö Middle: Quesan top 34% Ö Last: Pencil Sharpeners bottom 0% (2nd from bottom in the world)

In The Nude Beach, the nation has nearly as many history museums as Nude Beachians.

In BurritoBowl, Loud Patriotic Music Day has been ranked the seventh best new holiday of the year.

In Gay Love, cars are banned.

What am I doing?, no one will be wondering, but Iíll tell you nonetheless. Otherwise itís all Joeís daily reports. I bravely face the truth that I am useless at business subsidisation, whatever that may be. Just as useless is watching Kilmarnock versus Celtic on the telly because Celtic always win and Killie never score, but thatís whatís happening in my front room this Sunday early afternoon.

Enjoy your Sunday x

Game over. Kilmarnock 0 Celtic 5. Now I've got to finish reading the Observer.

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