The Bar on the corner of every regionBoard

Brocklandia wrote:

You realize the register is empty, right?

I need to give it to... certain people for... non-monetary purposes. Thanks for understanding.

Zombie ducks wrote:

Hermit? What’s that?

A person who doesn't go into society much or ever

East lodge wrote:

He almost killed me from the grave?!

Do you doubt it? Truly? In this establishment of all places?

Brocklandia wrote:

Aren't they the same prompt? Death comes for everyone, whether it's because they stopped breathing or because the sun exploded. I'm willing to bet a really tiny amount of money that sometimes both of those situations have happened at the same time.

Hm, you gotta point. It's easy to forget how destructive the things that nurture us can be. Even easier to forget that suns die too. I guess that's the trouble with living on a little pebble spinning around a big fireball. It's a game of chance and time. A game we'll inevitably lose.

But hey, that's alright. We've got whiskey and all the stars still livin' in the night sky to enjoy, so it's not that bad

Sideways silas wrote:

Hm, you gotta point. It's easy to forget how destructive the things that nurture us can be. Even easier to forget that suns die too. I guess that's the trouble with living on a little pebble spinning around a big fireball. It's a game of chance and time. A game we'll inevitably lose.

Yes, our solar system of flying rock-balls will eventually kill us all. Are you asking how? Well, science can help explain it all for you. Oh, and feel free to consider this a prose poem--my entry for the Race For Third Place, aka the Weekend Poetry Contest.

Fun fact: The point at which Mercury is closest to the sun changes. Did you also know: The point at which Jupiter is closest to the sun changes too, and at a different rate. I know this sounds like a boring bunch of science facts, but it ends with every human everywhere dying, so just try to stay with me for a moment.

These two orbits will one day be in sync. When that happens, the tiny nudges that Jupiter gives to Mercury's path around the sun add up and Mercury gets friggin' yanked out of orbit. And you know what happens then?--No? Well, I'll tell you; nobody really knows, but it's one of four possibilities:

• Option 1: Mercury goes flying off into space. Yeah, good riddance to bad rubbish, right?

• Option 2: Mercury tumbles out of orbit and crashes into the sun. Hah!--Even better. Hate that stupid planet.

• Option 3: Mercury is thrown into Venus' orbit, where their gravitational forces cause them to collide, possibly forming ... oh, I don't know ... "Mercus"?

• Or the Option 4 you've been awaiting so patiently: Mercury veers into Earth's orbit, crashes into our planet, and kills everyone forever.

Hot diggity! Turns out our chaotic solar system full of flying rock-balls might indeed kill us all--unless the sun becomes a red giant and does us in first! Yeah, but at least if that happens, we get to watch Mercury be destroyed before we burn up. Am I the only one here thinking, "Hmm ... Might be worth it"?

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:

I’m going to get some In-n-Out I mean, Timmies _{because I’m definitely Canadain}

Eating people named Tim sounds like an awfully narrow dietary demographic. Are you suggesting that Canadians can be starved into extinction just by refusing to name anyone else "Tim"?

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:

Anyways I’ll come back to this bar tomorrow, when I’m sick and tired of real food and get inspired to write a poem about why the sun hates gingers and gingers hate the sun, especially here in Canadia which is definitely my home, yo eh

Yeah, but in Canada you only see the sun for about six months of the year. I imagine that you send those six months indoors, hibernating and/or trading Yogi Bear impressions with each other. C'mon, show us your best "Hey, hey, Boo-Boo."

Chronial wrote:

Hey y'all, I'm back from a weird planet where life is made of steel, uranium, diamonds.

So it's like an upscale version of Newark?

Chronial wrote:

physics is messed up over there.

Like it isn't in this dimension? We depend on a giant thermonuclear oven in the sky for life and continued existence. That sounds like a critical design flaw to me.

Chronial wrote:

Does anyone of you want to try a glass? :)

Thanks, but ... uhm ... I never drink on the job. Yeah, that sounds good. I never drink on the job. But I'll store those ten bottles behind the bar in case someone wants to buy one on the black market ... er, try a glass. Thanks much.

Brocklandia wrote:

...

You're so welcome! I have never been to Newark but it is pretty gray if it's resembling that planet.. that actually is in another dimension...
Don't know for what your thermonuclear oven is intended, I mean multiversal life is transcendentally and immanently everywhere... Sorry if I confuse you, Brock.

I have later business in a universe where they eat gasoline-based bananas, I am sure they make liquor out of it too!

Alta Sil wrote:

... mind.

Well well, I LOVE this work! Congrats!

Can I save it for myself? Have you a blog, Instagram something?

Chronial wrote:

Sorry if I confuse you, Brock.

I've worked here for years--I've been immunized against confusion. Yours isn't that contagious.

Alta Sil I hope you work with your great poetry skill, you are good at it

Brocklandia wrote:

So it's like an upscale version of Newark?

That place is 20 minutes away from my house. Just visit NJPAC.

Zombie ducks wrote:

That place is 20 minutes away from my house. Just visit NJPAC.

My advice to you is to run away immediately. Don't bother packing your stuff. Just get out and run.