The Kingdom of Zombie Kartenhoff is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Aperape Clownkiller with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, vat-grown people, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.381 billion Zombie Kartenhoffians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of King's Landing. The average income tax rate is 86.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Zombie Kartenhoffian economy, worth a remarkable 1,509 trillion irradiated dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 280,530 irradiated dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Cynics say that Aperape Clownkiller's speeches are a leading cause of death, artists regularly face criminal charges and art-burning parties are common, people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled, and Zombie Kartenhoffians are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zombie Kartenhoff's national animal is the three-headed zombie dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Zombie Kartenhoff is ranked 2,983^rd in the world and 143^rd in Osiris for Most Corrupt Governments, with 292.9 kickbacks per hour.