The Free Market Empire of Zerni is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Mishami with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 35.575 billion Zernians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zerni City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zernian economy, worth an astonishing 15,602 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 438,593 Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

The government will gladly pay you next Tuesday for a hamburger today, the Zerni City Film Festival recently voted 'Zernian Getting Hit By Football' as best film, job descriptions are required to list the length of their siesta breaks, and a light breeze is enough to make Emperor Mishami fold. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Zerni's national animal is the silver lynx, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is shinto.

Zerni is ranked 329,384^th in the world and 3^rd in Zernxi Sector for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -17.61 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.