The Free Market Empire of Zerni is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Mishami with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, keen interest in outer space, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 35.161 billion Zernians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zerni City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zernian economy, worth an astonishing 15,243 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 433,522 Credits, with the richest citizens earning 6.9 times as much as the poorest.

Girl scouts are forced to bake their own cookies, elderly tribespeople die in bed surrounded by loved ones and linguists, genetic research is facing major headwinds, and raccoons are plump and satiated. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Zerni's national animal is the silver lynx, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is shinto.

Zerni is ranked 229,116^th in the world and 1^st in Zernxi Sector for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -3.96 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.