The Free Market Empire of Zerni is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emperor Mishami with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, avant-garde cinema, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 26.697 billion Zernians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zerni City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zernian economy, worth an astonishing 11,117 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 416,415 Credits, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

The government blames all suspicious phenomena on flying saucers, the nation's armed forces are recruiting thousands to help colonise Brasilistan, practising saying 'how now brown cow' is an essential part of holiday planning, and students learn how to disarm mines before understanding basic arithmetic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Zerni's national animal is the silver lynx, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is shinto.

Zerni is ranked 3,008^th in the world and 1^st in Zernxi Sector for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 23,626.43 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.