The Commonwealth of Zephiroxa is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by cheeseburger inhaler with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, public floggings, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.736 billion Zephians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nuclear Destruction Site 5100-1. The average income tax rate is 44.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Zephian economy, worth 261 trillion cheetoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,694 cheetoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Cheeseburger inhaler is famed for giving great back rubs, young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery, chess hooliganism is on the rise after the banning of organised sports, and the national policy on terrorism is "forgive and forget". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zephiroxa's national animal is the radioactive moving thingymajig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is chezism.

Zephiroxa is ranked 38,217^th in the world and 149^th in the Plains of Perdition for Most Corrupt Governments, with 64.65 kickbacks per hour.