The United States of ZekeyInTheCold is a large, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 175 million ZekeyInTheColdians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.2%.

The strong ZekeyInTheColdian economy, worth 9.62 trillion Colds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Pizza Delivery, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 54,950 Colds, with the richest citizens earning 8.7 times as much as the poorest.

Social media sites go into shutdown for days at a time to censor user content, back-alley circumcision clinics are popping up all over the nation, pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit, and international collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through ZekeyInTheCold. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. ZekeyInTheCold's national animal is the Zeke, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

ZekeyInTheCold is ranked 238,926^th in the world and 1,252^nd in the Plains of Perdition for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 41.43 on the Kitten Softness Rating.