The Constitutional Republic of Zargomie is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Dustin Jaryd Jäger with an even hand, and renowned for its vat-grown people, rampant corporate plagiarism, and state-planned economy. The compassionate population of 27.24 billion Zargomites are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zandia City. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Zargomite economy, worth a remarkable 7,107 trillion Beezies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 260,920 Beezies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Wars of expansion are described as "peacekeeping operations", youth rights demonstrations often end in vicious snowball fights, stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues, and the government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zargomie's national animal is the Sabre Hawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Zargomie is ranked 1,321^st in the world and 3^rd in The Atheist Empire for Most Cultured, scoring 324 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.