The Confederacy of Zapmolticuno is a colossal, pleasant nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ritual sacrifices, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.728 billion Zapmolticunoans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 25.2%.

The Zapmolticunoan economy, worth 232 trillion Delta Eagles a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Gambling, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 49,223 Delta Eagles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Black market eau de toilette is made in bathroom labs across the nation, cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors, the government is hoping that medical aid will speak louder than human rights abuses, and devotion to God is only skin-deep. Crime is moderate. Zapmolticuno's national animal is the Kitsune, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Zapmolticuno is ranked 253,392^nd in the world and 9^th in Portland for Nicest Citizens, with 8.98 average smiles per day.