The Chaotic Federation of Xornado is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Xornado the Just with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 3.03 billion Xornadoans enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The tiny, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Acquiescence City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.2%.

The strong Xornadoan economy, worth 186 trillion exes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. Average income is 61,464 exes, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 360,427 per year while the poor average 4,901, a ratio of 73.5 to 1.

Online terrorists are automatically assigned adverts for cheap balaclavas, bus shelters seem to be designed to let rain in, dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive, and the nation was recently voted "most likely to betray its allies". Crime is moderate. Xornado's national animal is the impala, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Xornado is ranked 215,575^th in the world and 61^st in Capitalist Paradise for Safest, scoring 33.03 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.