The Eternal Republic of Xirnium is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by the High Court of Parliament with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 32.501 billion Xirniumites are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Närväryn the Beautiful. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Xirniumite economy, worth an astonishing 11,841 trillion florins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 364,348 florins, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,412,520 per year while the poor average 3,279, a ratio of 1,040 to 1.

Appliance stores are finding spy cameras embedded in their unboxed merchandise, gun-wielding criminals always wear appropriate eye and ear protection, pocket dialling is a criminal offence, and the military has gone fission for more funding. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Xirnium's national animal is the common barn owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is a chthonic goddess religion.

Xirnium is ranked 311^th in the world and 7^th in Osiris for Highest Economic Output, with 11,841 trillion Standard Monetary Units.