The Soul-Crushing Factories of Wulfhelm is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Margrave Luther with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 46.019 billion Wulfens are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Defense and Law & Order are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lothangross. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Wulfhelmian economy, worth an astonishing 38,873 trillion Marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 844,727 Marks, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,913,472 per year while the poor average 7,582, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

A National Academy regulates grammar and usage, scenic tours are unheard of after most environmental laws were abolished, prices fluctuate manically for no fathomable reason, and citizens have reported seeing strange rays of light emanating from the moon. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Wulfhelm's national animal is the Wild Boar, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Neo Lutheran.

Wulfhelm is ranked 291,179^th in the world and 11^th in The Vast for Highest Food Quality, scoring 2.03 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.