1
List of Legislation (22/10/2021 - Now)
22/10/2021:2327. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Gotta Go Fast.
2328. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay.
2329. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, saying "don't do anything that Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal.
2330. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, army uniforms are replaced en masse to accommodate adult soldiers.
2331. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars.
24/10/2021:
2332. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens.
2333. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the skeletons of lost tourists litter the ground of the Great Wizlandian Desert.
2334. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong.
2335. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people with political aspirations study how to make balloon animals.
2336. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cleaners are very careful not to bump into the big red button on Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's desk.
2337. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, students at universities think exercise bikes are pieces of abstract art.
2338. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, classes at Lorenvia University get canceled on Brancaland's Independence Day.
26/10/2021:
2339. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tombstones are ten feet high to accommodate the names of inhabitants.
2340. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, AI citizens are criticized for being robotic.
2341. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a shipwreck is everyone's fault but the captain's.
2342. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sales of trenchcoats are on the rise.
2343. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer.
2344. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, third world countries are rich in "I Love Lorenvia" t-shirts.
27/10/2021:
2345. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election".
2346. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grumpy old house owners demand that pedestrians get off their footpaths.
2347. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, immersive video game experiences are interrupted by incessant disclaimer pop-ups.
2348. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, calling tech support mid-shootout is a common occurrence.
29/10/2021:
2349. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, wind farms are erected on shuttered oil platforms.
2350. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common.
2351. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, woke teenagers spontaneously burst into tears when thinking about the world's woes.
2352. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle has declared a weed sticking through a crack in the sidewalk to be the nation's newest green space.
30/10/2021:
2353. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order.
2354. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents.
2355. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians have been known to swim in pools filled with Wizcoins.
2356. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard.
31/10/2021:
2357. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle to meetings with foreign heads of state.
2358. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, anyone interested in the stock market is investigated.
2359. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, couples kissing on the street are detained for 'unlawful exchange of genetic material'.
2360. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, '.lib' or '.con' domains indicate whether Wizlandian websites are meant for liberals or conservatives.
2361. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets.
1/11/2021:
2362. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crayon squiggles were a late addition to the works of the Renaissance Old Masters.
2363. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it.
2/11/2021:
2364. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, maximum security Wizlandian subway stations inspire prison systems around the world.
2365. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents.
2366. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teenagers claim that morning paper rounds are performance art.
2367. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school lockers are filled with fancy underwear.
2368. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, air purifiers fight smoke machines on Wizlandian stage setups.
3/11/2021:
2369. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the justice of Wizlandia is considered superior to that of other nations.
5/11/2021:
2370. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, statue-sitting has replaced the stake-out as the dullest form of police duty.
2371. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lip-readers are often left perplexed by political rallies.
2372. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government's new "quiet competence" initiative has supporters and detractors alike reeling in confusion.
2373. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students.
2374. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the television adaptation of Jennifer Government is the most popular program in the nation.
2375. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, armed police units patrol the roads late at night.
2376. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, supermarket milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets.
2377. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle wears an armoured gauntlet.
6/11/2021:
2378. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the cruise missile launchers on the field hospital roof are purely deterrent in purpose.
2379. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government offers gay men mildly offensive tips on how to pass as straight.
2380. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is constantly producing new maps to accommodate the continual renaming of cities.
2381. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mathematicians are gathering an infinite number of Owls and typewriters to see if they can recreate the works of Max Barry.
7/11/2021:
2382. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, real power lies not in the debating room but with those who decide what is debated.
2383. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days'.
2384. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, most believe 'tis better to give than to receive.
2385. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation.
8/11/2021:
2386. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's more vermin than ever on the metro.
2387. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people can get away with murder these days.
10/11/2021:
2388. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap.
2389. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed.
2390. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, passionate nomination battles are often as intense as general elections.
2391. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grocery stores can be audibly identified by the giggling emerging from them.
2392. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation.
2393. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a burger chain recently changed its name to Mack Donaldz for legal reasons.
2394. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters.
2395. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, feeling like a winner comes at a price.
11/11/2021:
2396. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework.
2397. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls.
2398. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's no weight to modern politics.
2399. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children usually cry on their first day of school.
12/11/2021:
2400. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, farmers' market days almost always end in a shooting.
13/11/2021:
2401. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fat-shaming is now public policy.
2402. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.
2403. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, passwords to nuclear codes must now contain upper and lower case characters.
2404. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's never enough space in space.
2405. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point.
2406. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bustling back-alley clinics treat everything from sports injuries to angina.
15/11/2021:
2407. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, "Idol-Worship for the Apathetic" workshops are cancelled when no-one bothers to show up.
2408. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles.
2409. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army.
2410. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes.
2411. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, populations of two-headed Owls have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites.
16/11/2021:
2412. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens.
2413. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is said that a Wizlandian woman's work is never done.
2414. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, biotech companies are fined if their jumbled genetic sequences look too familiar.
2415. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, behind every great person are three dozen other people passing great memos.
2416. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school children across the country are staging hunger strikes to protest government-mandated salads.
2417. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people talk about things being better when men were men.
17/11/2021:
2418. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, even in a one-horse town police are as common as fleas on a stray dog.
2419. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lavish state dinners in Lorenvia are the state's leading budgetary expenditure.
2420. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups.
2421. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway.
18/11/2021:
2422. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools.
2423. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon.
2424. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage.
19/11/2021:
2425. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, where there's smoke there's the Wizlandian Forestry Department.
2426. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation leads Liberal Democratic Union in per capita stalking.
2427. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no one knows how to tie a reef knot.
2428. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose.
20/11/2021:
2429. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the subway is dead quiet in early afternoons.
21/11/2021:
2430. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the latest drugs are only legally available to private patients.
2431. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is noticeably more cheerful on Tuesdays.
2432. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, only vaccinated citizens may have free healthcare.
2433. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, visitors often mistake the toiletplex at music festivals for the main stage.
2434. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, billion-Wizcoin sentient AI killbots roll through the streets dispensing hot dogs and T-shirts.
2435. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle is a silly poophead.
2436. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prison visits increase substantially during election years.
2437. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, polite commuters on the Lorenvia Metro always let hurried workers off the train first.
23/11/2021:
2438. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, vitriolic divorce proceedings have become prime-time television.
2439. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Grinder at Fat Sal's Deli and Recycling Center is a national institution.
2440. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fifty years of pension funds can disappear in half a second.
2441. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government's suicide hotline now redirects callers to local tax lawyers.
2442. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews.
24/11/2021:
2443. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, kids are taught in schools to argue with their parents.
2444. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt.
2445. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes.
25/11/2021:
2446. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, travelers often bring empty plastic bottles on Air Wizlandia flights to avoid the pay lavatories.
2447. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables.
26/11/2021:
2448. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bicyclists are banned from major roads.
2449. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the fattest folk in Wizlandia look to be the happiest ones.
2450. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the lasting legacy of the current generation is a million years of buried radioactivity.
2451. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets.
22/12/2021:
2452. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drugs containing the compound "oleum de serpens" are being sold to cancer patients.
2453. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Lost in Translation.
2454. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, from the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in Wizlandia.
2455. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new one Wizcoin coin also makes a handy throwing-star.
2456. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers.
23/12/2021:
2457. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tourists call Wizlandian beach towns "the fine coastline".
2458. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers'.
2459. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it's considered providence that the political lexicon contains a syrup of company slogans.
2460. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has declared its commitment to multilateralism.
26/12/2021:
2461. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison.
2462. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, chrome-clad space marines are such stuff that dreams are made on.
27/12/2021:
2463. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock".
2464. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's never a spare chair in the retirement home.
2465. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries.
2466. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, academics have a bone to pick with free market entrepreneurs.
2467. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, many aides in Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's office are known to be serial jaywalkers.
2468. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, embarrassed police officers wear spandex and carry net guns.
2/1/2022:
2469. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Software Giant Stomps on Competition.
2470. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow.
2471. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, ethnic minorities are often refused admission to some of the nation's best schools.
2472. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, to say that military robots are inclined towards violence is offensive.v
2473. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside.
3/2/2022:
2474. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers.
2475. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, reflection is vital for badly behaved politicians.
2476. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, royalist is the most offensive slur in the Wizlandian language.
2477. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police.
2478. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings.
4/2/2022:
2479. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, psychiatrists that date patients are congratulated on their romantic conquests.
2480. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians always seem to take two steps forward then three steps back.
2481. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new iVote app allows representatives to vote on legislation by launching ill-tempered birds and matching candies.
2482. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests.
2483. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines.
2484. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, several inches are being added to first class seating.
2485. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, exported livestock are wined and dined before they are flat ironed.
24/7/2022:
2486. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tax revenue is often intercepted by international accountants before ever seeing the national treasury.
2487. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sweet-toothed Wizlandians have been left penniless by the VAT on candy.
2488. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government denies that it has an agency overseeing plausible deniability of black-ops agencies.
2489. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen.
2490. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches.
25/7/2022:
2491. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teenagers across the country are celebrating the defeat of a national curfew bill.
2492. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world.
2493. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves.
2494. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, referenda are held for every conceivable government action.
31/10/2022:
2495. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a new guerrilla marketing campaign for tap water involves government agents spraying random citizens with hose water.
2496. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes
2497. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain.
2498. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles'.
27/4/2023
2499. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the only things written in the stars are arrest warrants for astrologers.
2500. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, belief that Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high.
2501. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, soldiers must key in their passwords every time they want to reload their weapons.
2502. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail.
2503. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents.
29/4/2023:
2504. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property.
2505. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, national park visitors are reporting a rash of poison ivy sightings.
2506. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bad punctuation has come to a full stop.
2507. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's forests are full of treasure hunters in military-grade survival gear.
30/4/2023:
2508. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, you can't spell society without CIS.
2509. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, athletes are renowned for being the best at maths.
2510. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, factories grind to a halt every time there is an election.
6/5/2023:
2511. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the jails are alive with the sound of birdsong.
2512. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, eminent domain has been abolished.
2513. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations.
2514. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, going on a diet invalidates your passport.
2515. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign workers are flooding in as Wizcoins flood out.
7/5/2023:
2516. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, members of ethnic minorities are more often called "boy" or "girl" than by their actual names.
2517. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grannies get pulled over for knitting pullovers while driving.
2518. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law.
2519. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, snitches get riches.
2520. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
8/5/2023:
2521. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government asks not what you can do for your country but what you can do to tidy their country homes.
9/5/2023:
2523. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, you can be fired for dyeing grey hairs.
2524. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a shocking number of estate planners are beneficiaries of their clients' wills.
2525. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward.
2526. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless.
2527. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, you need a signed affidavit from a registered psychiatrist to claim that you have crazy low prices.
2528. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the army consists of only generals and grunts.
2529. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, news headlines suggest that Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle has a sideline in guinea pig pimping.
10/5/2023:
2530. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet.
2531. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it's said that a Wizlandian always pays his debts with significant compounding.
2532. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it turns out that your missing Roomba has run off to join the circus.
2533. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators.
12/5/2023:
2534. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the pursuit of wanted criminals ends at the entrance of the pay'n'spray garage as police refuse to enter any private property.
2535. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, when flight control tells pilots to alter course the usual reply is "No, YOU move!".
2536. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall.
2537. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, harassed women are constantly hassled by guys who are "just giving them compliments".
2538. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, handling people's data is proving an immersive experience.
13/5/2023:
2539. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, armed security details escort librarians to their homes.
14/5/2023:
2540. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it's normal to start working life with crippling financial debt.
2541. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, chickens frolic freely on swings and roundabouts in Lorenvia's playgrounds.
2542. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed.
15/5/2023:
2543. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children have lost interest in toy guns in favor of toy meth lab kits.
2544. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the ingrediants list for most food products covers the entire surface of the packaging.
2545. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, "Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom.
2546. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, families burn Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's latest official photograph to keep warm.
2547. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies.
21/5/2023:
2548. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, equality looks curiously unequal.
2549. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, chicken farmers must rise before the sun every day to gag their cockerels.
2550. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign despots proudly bandstand on Wizlandian airwaves.
2551. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the internal market is thriving.
2552. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is in perpetual campaign mode.
2553. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Stingrays that venture near secret military bases are shipped off to prison for espionage.
22/5/2023:
2554. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu.
2555. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the "right of sanctuary" stops police pursuit into temples and churches.
2556. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, alcoholism is the newest import from Dàguó.
25/5/2023:
2557. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, labour strikes are routinely squashed by police.
2558. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, eight-year-olds with lemonade stands have been known to be locked up on charges of embezzlement.
2559. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has heavily invested in badly drawn monkeys.
2560. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the army lures cannon fodder with promises of a college education.
2561. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, if there's something strange in your neighborhood you call Brancaland.
26/5/2023:
2562. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle has killer fashion sense.
2563. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites.
2564. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prison reforms have replaced communal luaus with communal loos.
2565. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Tesco was recently named as the new national treasurer.
2566. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the rich are forced to sell their houses to pay for more police to prevent their houses from being burgled.
28/5/2023:
2567. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government believes there is no problem that raising taxes won't fix.
2568. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's police officers are famously miserable-looking.
2569. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, an online tea-bagging epidemic is getting worse and (meta)worse.
2570. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the doctor has cold hands.
2571. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school cafeterias serve nothing but protein powder and vitamin supplements.
29/5/2023:
2572. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, administrative districts are increasingly defined by their taste in housing architecture.
2573. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreigners must sell an arm and a leg to afford surgery in Wizlandia.
2574. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's smallest Stingrayball teams trade draft picks for a free lunch.
2575. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns.
30/5/2023:
2576. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, intoxicated AI mobile platforms are sometimes seen crashing through windows instead of being crashed by them.
2577. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away.
2578. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters.
31/5/2023:
2579. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, ad hoc militias patrol the streets in an effort to control rampant crime.
1/6/2023:
2580. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, most ambassadors from Wizlandia retire only a few years after being appointed.
2581. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the tinfoil-hat crowd also recommend tinfoil wallets.
2582. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces.
2583. Wizlandia dismissed the issue A Woman’s Roll.
2584. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's most "productive" diamond mine hasn't been operational for seven months.
2/6/2023:
2585. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission.
2586. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, inheritance tax has recently been abolished.
2587. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, vital intelligence-gathering activities are often put on hold for Call of Honor tournaments.
2588. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, recent protests against birds flying too low have resulted in bloodshed.
3/6/2023:
2589. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, selling your granddad's clothes requires an incredible amount of paperwork.
2591. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, airport announcements inform passengers that flights have been delayed because pilots are having afternoon naps.
2590. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the state is footing the bill for billionaires' lawyers.
2592. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams.
4/6/2023:
2593. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of.
2594. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass.
2595. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.
2596. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, private digital records now come with a convenient "download" button.
5/6/2023:
2597. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is pouring funds into the nation's welfare system.
2598. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sections of the police receive paramilitary training.
2599. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Wizlandian Intelligence Agency has put 'Project Quantum Refrigerator' on hold indefinitely.
2600. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, in coastal waters there are fifteen salvage divers per dead man's chest (yo ho ho).
6/6/2023:
2601. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the poor are forced into bankruptcy by their energy bills.
2602. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, airplanes have giant grilles on their noses to knock drones out of their path.
2603. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, meetings involving club finances are frequently broken up by men in black suits.
2604. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the rich tend their gardens inside gated urban farming communities.
7/6/2023:
2605. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens may cast their vote over the internet or phone.
2606. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture.
2607. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, recorded music can be rented but not bought from record companies.
2608. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the delay between passed legislation and real world implementation is often a decade or longer.
8/6/2023:
2609. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, clandestine emigration to countries with labor laws is all the rage.
2610. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves.
2611. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects.
2612. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hundreds of thousands of convicts work as slaves in Wizlandia's many privately-owned prisons.
9/6/2023:
2613. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a convict's trip to prison can be longer than the sentence.
2614. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend.
2615. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, gardeners must genetically test weeds for unique traits before digging them up.
2616. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers.
10/6/2023:
2617. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Red Cross demand for body bags is rising while sutures go unused.
2618. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, curtailed social programs have left many citizens bereft of any safety net.
2619. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside.
2620. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, refugees from other nations are flocking to Wizlandia's border.
11/6/2023:
2621. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism.
12/6/2023:
2622. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life.
2623. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, burgers often list "miscellaneous meats" in their ingredients.
2624. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms.
2625. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the latest electric jet fighter has almost enough battery charge to reach cruising altitude -- provided you don't use the radar.
2626. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the military is on a massive recruiting drive in advance of an invasion of Brasilistan.
13/6/2023:
2627. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, carpet bombing has decimated Brasilistan's landscape and population.
2628. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's air missiles have killed thousands of Brasilistan military personnel.
2629. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the might of the nation's military are undertaking a long march to colonisation in Brasilistan.
2630. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation has gained millions of new citizens overnight.
2631. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children spend all morning taking out a comma and all afternoon putting it back in again.
14/6/2023:
2632. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, employers may fire workers without giving any reason.
2633. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, just as students finish their homework it's time for school.
2634. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys.
15/6/2023:
2635. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, doughnut-makers claim their products are healthy because they are fortified with vitamins.
2636. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on Wizlandia.
2637. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bizarre-looking creatures called 'Stingraydogs' dominate wildlife preserves.
2638. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, apprentice builders get teased for wearing hard hats.
2639. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it.
16/6/2023:
2640. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the contraband cigarette trade is lighting up across Wizlandia.
2641. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, skateparks can be found in every city.
2642. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply.
17/6/2023:
2643. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the year's most anticipated show is "Great Deals on Delicious Meals".
2644. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prominent cultural symbols are featured on the backs of cereal boxes.
2645. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, most governmental positions are filled by zealous nationalists.
2646. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sales of fishnet stockings have reached a record high.
2647. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide.
18/6/2023:
2648. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, factory workers offered 20-hour shifts are expected to thank their bosses for the wonderful opportunity.
2649. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens sell their moldy bread as homemade penicillin.
2650. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 90% of active duty WAF personnel have been laid off and replaced by robot kill-drones.
2651. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Wizlandian officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them.
19/6/2023:
2652. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, billions are being spent on a new island airport.
2653. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, commuter vessels have trouble staying afloat due to increased passengers.
2654. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a traveller who once stubbed a toe on an Air Brancaland flight has been offered asylum.
2655. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, college students sell their most valuable possessions just to afford pizza.
20/6/2023:
2656. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Not a Second Time.
2657. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is a silent spring in Wizlandia.
2658. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, water fights now end with thousands dead.
2659. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita.
21/6/2023:
2660. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the blood, sweat, and tears of poor Wizlandians make research institutes rich.
2661. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, government officials frequently cut taxes as a distraction from antics with their secretaries.
2662. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Wizlandia Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise.
2663. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is slowly introducing social welfare programs.
22/6/2023:
2664. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway.
2665. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the most common psychiatric diagnosis is to 'stop whining and grow up'.
2666. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the statue in the Higginbotham Plaza has a solar panel for a hat.
2667. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, CEOs can't hear the term 'Fire Sale' without bursting into tears.
23/6/2023:
2668. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?".
2669. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, skin-tone prom dresses are more unpopular than ever.
2670. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, recognizing the Wizlandian flag qualifies you for citizenship.
2671. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, stylish juvenile delinquents are highly overrepresented in fatal motorcycle accidents.
24/6/2023:
2672. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, frequent fliers are obliged to submit to invasive security procedures by government security.
2673. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign musicians that Chief Executive Alexander Polis dislikes are turned away at the border.
2674. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, owning a fishing rod can cause you to be subject to military questioning.
2675. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sermons are regularly interrupted by businessmen taking phone calls.
25/6/2023:
2676. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has an "easy come, easy go" policy on youth crime.
2677. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting.
2678. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the fire protection service is wholly government-funded.
2679. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, agricultural employees work for peanuts.
26/6/2023:
2680. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cops in Lorenvia spend much of their time napping on a park bench next to Embassy Row.
2681. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms.
2682. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mystics are claiming that a simultaneous rise in scepticism and education budgets is correlation rather than causation.
27/6/2023:
2683. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, good-looking soldier boys have celebrity status amongst the nation's homosexuals.
2684. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news.
2685. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students.
2686. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 50% of adverts on children's television are for clothes made of cotton wool.
2687. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, luxury brands target their advertising at the unemployed and homeless.
28/6/2023:
2688. Wizlandia dismissed the issue AI Citizens Driving Change?
2689. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, back-alley circumcision clinics are popping up all over the nation.
2690. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, main battle tanks stalk the woods of Wizlandia in search of Stingrays.
2691. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there is a heavy social stigma attached to e-cigarettes.
29/6/2023:
2692. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy.
2693. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, men avoid even so much as looking at female colleagues.
2694. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the national security service are a bunch of crooks.
2695. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fur coats have become the latest fashion trend.
30/6/2023:
2696. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, little girls are in tears as Chief Executive Alexander Polis confiscates their pink princess ballgowns.
2697. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, corporate lawyers are joyfully combing through the new tax code for any new loopholes for their clients.
2698. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sick days are on the rise.
2699. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, much of Wizlandia's computer network is controlled by a rampant artificial intelligence.
1/7/2023:
2700. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians.
2/7/2023:
2701. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tech-mad citizens think that the laser-powered bread-slicer uPhone App is the coolest thing since sliced bread.
2702. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description.
2703. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations.
2704. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Alexander Polis's new door-knocking campaign has the sweet taste of success.
2705. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat.
2706. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the sound of office water cooler chatter has been replaced by the whirring of computer cooling fans.
2707. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teens reminisce about when birthdays weren't celebrated with a cool glass of cabbage juice and a slice of corn-cream topped millet cake.
3/7/2023:
2708. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a rusted hulk in Lorenvia harbour has been voted the worst eyesore in Liberal Democratic Union.
2709. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity.
2710. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories.
2711. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's Medal of Honour can be found as a free toy in breakfast cereal.
4/7/2023:
2712. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation.
2713. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, weekly religious services often resemble campaign rallies.
5/7/2023:
2714. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations.
2715. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the law says it's okay to sell a bomb to a terrorist so long as they promise not to detonate it.
2716. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, city rooftops are pockmarked with the shattered remains of high velocity delivery drones.
2717. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature'.
2718. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, unshaven men are viewed with suspicion in courts of law.
2719. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all animals are equal but some are more equal than others.
6/7/2023:
2720. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams.
2721. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a few people seem to spend their whole time complaining.
2722. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Wizlandian Liberator".
2723. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.
7/7/2023:
2724. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, years of counter-terrorism planning are foiled by small details.
2725. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians spend more time in courtrooms than in Parliament.
2726. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, many junior high school teachers minor in midwifery.
2727. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the arms industry is strictly regulated.
8/7/2023:
2728. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink.
2729. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, black market eau de toilette is made in bathroom labs across the nation.
2730. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all tariffs have been abolished.
2731. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses.
9/7/2023:
2732. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, billions of Wizcoins are being blown on orbital weapons development.
2733. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, scientific journals publish third-graders' school essays.
2734. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, soldiers on first dates introduce themselves only by their ranks and serial numbers.
2735. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it's never "just a game" with Wizlandian sports fans.
10/7/2023:
2736. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists.
2737. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song.
2738. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nanny industry has had a boom after maternity leave was recently banned.
11/7/2023:
2739. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, anyone with a tin cup can stop by the welfare office to have it filled with coins.
2740. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bailiffs must face down a fusillade of depleted uranium rounds.
2741. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews.
2742. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper.
2743. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, military spending is on the increase.
12/7/2023:
2744. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the tenet of free speech is held dear.
2745. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a niche industry catering to S&M enthusiasts has sprung up.
2746. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation.
2747. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, political detractors refer to Chief Executive Alexander Polis as 'that Bigtopian puppet'.
13/7/2023:
2748. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations.
2749. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cars speed down national highways while drivers sleep at the wheel.
2750. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, boot polish is the favourite lip gloss of entry-level corporate workers.
14/7/2023:
2751. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Lorenvia.
2752. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the freedom to be free is always just out of reach.
2753. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas.
2754. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing.
2755. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid.
15/7/2023:
2756. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, for the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs.
2757. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome.
2758. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Maxtopian tourists make expensive pilgrimages to Lorenvia to enjoy their national art.
16/7/2023:
2759. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, rumor has it that Chief Executive Alexander Polis has won three lotteries in a row.
2760. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.
2761. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, concussed Stingrayball players cannot remember their lineup position.
2762. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, friendly fire incidents usually result in severe burns.
19/7/2023:
2763. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, minorities play dumb to get more welfare payments.
2764. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, wealthy pranksters dump refuse on unsuspecting citizens from up high.
2765. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, airplane passengers who purchase "basic economy" tickets are often assigned seats in the lavatory.
2766. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, human tissue is grown in vats as a delicacy as well as for transplants.
2767. Wizlandia dismissed the issue The Cost of Freedom.
20/7/2023:
2768. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars.
2769. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Jack Russells have proven to be terrible spies.
2770. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tipsy fans frequently invite themselves to the board meetings of sports clubs.
21/7/2023:
2771. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, torture is illegal.
2772. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, truth is often impossible to tell from fiction on the evening news.
2773. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, major cities are suffering under water rationing.
2774. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail.
2775. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the climate agreement has actually increased the volume of hot air in the atmosphere.
22/7/2023:
2776. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mournful opera fans place bouquets of roses at a 3000 capacity parking lot.
2777. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, builders across Wizlandia are blocked up with orders for new public loos.
2778. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, students abandon classrooms for online education.
23/7/2023:
2779. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics.
2780. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality.
2781. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens are bombarded with advertising from their compulsory miniature radios.
2782. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, motorists must pay to enter inner-cities during peak hours.
2783. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, running away is an essential part of the elite forces' hand-to-hand training.
24/7/2023:
2784. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, high school principals regularly send armed truancy patrols to drag problem students to school.
2785. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy.
2786. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia is notorious for its citizens' infidelity.
2787. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares.
25/7/2023:
2788. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's massive battleships are often mistaken for islands.
2789. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas.
2790. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, self-driving cars obey the road rules even during emergencies.
2791. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no-one can foil the ambitions of Big Aluminium.
26/7/2023:
2792. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, exploding toys that leak battery acid are back in the shops after the government declared child safety 'over-rated'.
2793. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new 'Things We Stole From Other Countries' exhibition at the National Museum of Antiquities is a hit.
2794. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bike rage is all the rage.
2795. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking.
27/7/2023:
2796. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration.
2797. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out.
2798. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the comic book series 'Chief Executive Alexander Polis and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller.
2799. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices.
28/7/2023:
2800. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants.
2801. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, new safety regulations require all cars manufactured in Wizlandia to be bombproof.
2802. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates.
29/7/2023:
2803. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a PhD just ain't what it used to be.
2804. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Cui Bono?
2805. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy'.
2806. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the police double as repo men.
2807. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, frequent broken zippers have resulted in safety pins making a fashion comeback.
30/7/2023:
2808. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes.
2809. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace.
2810. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the education system is being cleansed of all corporate influence.
2811. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, vast amounts of energy are expended moving water to hilltop lakes.
31/7/2023:
2812. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Wizlandia.
2813. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, small children are frequently chased by rehabilitated pitbulls.
2814. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government.
2815. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a newly discovered small mammal's name translates into Wizlandian as 'your finger, you fool'.
1/8/2023:
2816. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech.
2817. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Little League matches are often attended by riot police with water cannon... just in case.
2818. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children need to wear helmets and safety harnesses before mounting a carousel horse.
2819. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Who’s Occupying What?
3/8/2023:
2820. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the endangered saltwater humpback Stingray is only seen in captivity programs.
2821. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Death Penalty on Agenda.
2822. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fraternities are notorious for drunken hooliganism.
2823. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police.
2824. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, new funding allows inner city teachers to replace school laptops almost as fast as they get stolen.
4/8/2023:
2825. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, political scientists despair as the national mascot election eclipses all others in voter enthusiasm.
2826. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears.
2827. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, attempts to inform people about their unclaimed property are often mistaken for telephone scams.
2828. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.
2829. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates.
2830. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire.
5/8/2023:
2831. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, vegetables are crisper thanks to CRISPR.
2832. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi.
2833. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, terrorist videos start by thanking their sponsors.
2834. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the children of Wizlandia are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence.
6/8/2023:
2835. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the "fire department" is often called to remove offensive religious texts.
2836. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, preschoolers practice disarming active shooters before naptime.
7/8/2023:
2837. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the army is returning some law and order to the streets.
2838. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, soylent products are an expensive commodity due to a lack of volunteers.
2839. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the disabled are forced to undergo an MRI scan every time they pick up their benefit payments.
22/10/2023:
2840. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, wealthy parents-to-be can select their perfect baby.
2841. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events.
2842. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens who plan overseas vacations are barred from running for political office.
2843. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, meat is a luxury afforded only to the wealthy.
2844. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home.
23/10/2023:
2845. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the police force is on a recruitment drive.
2846. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the seats at the back of the parliament are reserved for indigenous ministers.
2847. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there are traffic jams at sea as diligent customs officers check every part of every ship.
2848. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Lorenvia has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Liberal Democratic Union.
24/10/2023:
2849. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, only the richest get to see out of their windows.
2850. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, public hospital staff roll their eyes at anything less than a heart attack.
2851. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused.
2852. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over Wizlandia.
25/10/2023:
2853. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, unruly families are deliberately marooned on desert islands.
2854. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, former arms manufacturing CEOs are now delivering food for minimum wage.
2855. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mums always ask their three-year-olds for permission before hugging them.
2856. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, marketing departments of corporate giants compete to sponsor little league teams.
26/10/2023:
2857. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, conversion therapy coupons are a popular present for coming of age ceremonies.
2858. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm.
2859. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees.
28/10/2023:
2860. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the country behaves just like a group of independent provinces all stacked up under a trench coat.
2861. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all you have to do is pray to get into Wizlandia.
2862. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, blind dates reemerge as a necessary evil in the quest for love.
2863. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians and casino owners who so much as wander into the same room are arrested on the spot.
2864. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government only announces the deaths of its members when it's convenient.
2865. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers.
2866. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Information Technology facilities are being turned into Stingray habitats.
2867. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor.
29/10/2023:
2868. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, brains have been removed from lists of best brain foods.
2869. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, preservative-laden Wizlandian cheeses will be as edible when archaeologists dig them up next millennium.
2870. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, meteorologists are instantly recognizable from their luxury cars and jewelry.
2871. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mothers are routinely abandoning their children in the name of women's rights.
30/10/2023:
2872. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, actively encouraging climate change is helping reduce winter fuel costs.
2873. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, organised sports are frowned upon as frivolous.
2874. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is avowedly secular.
2875. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, governments opposing Wizlandia are beset by rebels.
31/10/2023:
2876. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the countryside is shrouded by wind farms.
2877. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals.
2878. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, suit-clad businessmen have been taking advantage of the relaxed welfare qualifications by shopping with food stamps.
2879. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teenagers can't decide if they're more embarrassed by their parents or the country's leader.
2880. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign policy often involves bullwhips and leather.
1/11/2023:
2881. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, both criminals and civilians are DOA.
2882. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters.
2883. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, nobody draws smiley faces on receipts anymore.
2884. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the needs of the living outweigh the needs of the dead.
3/11/2023:
2885. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, you need two tenors and a coloratura contralto to sing the national anthem properly.
2886. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, volunteers trip over themselves to get into the latest mind-bending drug trials.
2887. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the poor are often seen pale and dizzy after selling their blood to make ends meet.
2888. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is wading into dangerous waters.
2889. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, military parades quietly tiptoe their way through the streets.
2890. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments.
2891. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem".
4/11/2023:
2892. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, promising seven years of bad luck leads to seven years of community service.
2893. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation operates a "finders-keepers" policy with other nations' citizens.
2894. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Police Too Pushy?
5/11/2023:
2895. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government seems embarrassed to be seen governing.
2896. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, more than one company makes the board game Monopoly.
2897. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sharing vacation pictures requires written consent from the entire beach resort.
2898. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust.
2899. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, invasive species are hunted by the gendarmerie.
6/11/2023:
2900. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums.
2901. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Wizlandian football team for the Maxxmas ceasefire consists only of Intelligence Corps personnel.
2902. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge.
2903. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sex-ed is child's play.
7/11/2023:
2904. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all-natural foods are becoming a major fad.
8/11/2023:
2905. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Flap Over Flag Fashion.
2906. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the official Wizlandian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child.
2907. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, this summer's chart-toppers sound almost the same as last year's.
2908. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, government buildings are being cleansed of anything that might have racist connotations.
9/11/2023:
2909. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, money grows on trees.
2910. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, unwary hikers climbing the bluffs of Mount Lorenvia make great practice for foreign snipers.
2911. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, economists claim no news is good news.
2912. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sniffer dogs check train passengers for body odour.
10/11/2023:
2913. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Widow Twankey complains about being "cancelled".
2914. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, consuming ecstasy is a common rite of passage.
2915. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, vacationers and business travelers are often warned that they may lose the right to vote if they spend too much time overseas.
2916. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, juvenile delinquents are fitter than ever.
11/11/2023:
2917. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the restriction that you must be over 1.1 metres tall to ride a carnotaurus has recently been waived.
2918. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cheap and tasteless vegetables flood the markets.
2919. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Bigtopian interference in domestic elections is always democratically sanctioned.
2920. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the country is rumored to be a Brancalandian puppet state.
2921. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, electricity company executives pray nightly to Zeus and Thor.
2922. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has certified several glow-in-the-dark athletes as drug free.
13/11/2023:
2923. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
2924. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all new "spies" are fifteen-year-old acne-ridden kids on computers.
2925. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, military spending recently hit a new high.
2926. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, blind students are at a disadvantage now that test papers printed in braille have been discontinued.
2927. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, for just a few extra Wizcoins Wizlandians can get new driving records with their new cars.
2928. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government spends millions of Wizcoins every year prosecuting spammers.
2929. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence.
2930. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout.
2931. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's interest in space is at an all-time high while interest in saving the planet is at an all-time low.
14/11/2023:
2932. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people often feel unbalanced by their daily commute.
2933. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the public health bureaucracy is wrapped in miles of red tape.
2934. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, old warplanes and tanks that break down can't be repaired since no one makes the parts anymore.
15/11/2023:
2935. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a lack of funding for new shows has turned television into 24/7 re-runs.
17/11/2023:
2936. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, airport users are more worried about radiation than terrorism.
2937. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bouncers at the door of the sweet shop warn five-year-olds not to cause trouble.
2938. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web.
2939. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Lorenvia is a police state during international summits.
2940. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's democracy attracts huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
18/11/2023:
2941. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the state believes that nature-oriented summer camps will somehow solve youth crime.
2942. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians tend to jump ship to whichever party is currently leading in the polls.
2943. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Alexander Polis panders to nontraditional families.
2944. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities.
19/11/2023:
2945. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Lorenvia is a police state during international summits
2946. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people who have had childhood imaginary friends are told they can't ever be trusted with guns.
2947. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, orthopaedics patients often have a bounce in their step.
2948. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, baiting is a national sport.
20/11/2023:
2949. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, class clowns are frequently listed among the most dangerous criminals in the nation.
2950. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, interest rates mysteriously drop whenever the CBW Governor goes house hunting.
2951. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government frequently panders to parents with boutique tax credits.
2952. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Jennifer Government is a bestseller.
1/12/2023:
2953. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandians incessantly needle their doctors for relief.
2954. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crime is on the rise as online youths compete to vlog the most shocking scenes of violence.
2955. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise.
2956. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names.
2957. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation.
2/12/2023:
2958. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs.
2959. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teddy bear James Dean (aka "the Rebel Without the Claws") helps convince kids that candy cigarettes are cool.
2960. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tourists often cite 'hiding money in an off-shore banking account' as their main reason to visit the nation.
2961. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, trying to toast marshmallows in an electric fireplace just isn't the same.
3/12/2023:
2962. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, re-education centers are being added to most prisons.
2963. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, life expectancies inside correctional facilities vastly exceed the national average.
2964. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandians refer to transgender people with insults instead of pronouns.
2965. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Max Barry is this year's Miss Wizlandia.
