The Free Land of Witkacy is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, digital currency, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 3.052 billion Witkacyians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zakopane. The average income tax rate is 46.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Witkacyian economy, worth 340 trillion złoties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 111,447 złoties, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Elderly tribespeople die in bed surrounded by loved ones and linguists, scientific ethics are on the chopping block, government-sponsored gallows are being erected by Violetist temples, and Witkacyians are shown the peaceful ways of free trade by force. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Witkacy's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Witkacy is ranked 32,041^st in the world and 6^th in Poland for Largest Information Technology Sector, scoring 15,894.08 on the Fann-Boi Productivity Index.