The Basileia of Willink is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Basileus Nikephorus I with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, deadly medical pandemics, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 29.08 billion Willinkians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salonika. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Willinkian economy, worth a remarkable 5,193 trillion Solidis a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 178,580 Solidis, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,224,083 per year while the poor average 9,358, a ratio of 130 to 1.

Citizens are expected to be armed at all times, breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites, Salonika has restaurants serving every meat from aardvark to zebra, and students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Willink's national animal is the Caracal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Willinkian Orthodox Church.

Willink is ranked 42,595^th in the world and 3^rd in Haven for Nudest, with 212 cheeks per square mile.