The Colony of Wallach I is a huge, genial nation, notable for its public floggings, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 688 million Wallach Iians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 58.2%.

The strong Wallach Iian economy, worth 51.5 trillion Marks a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 74,850 Marks, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over Wallach I, skateboarding is punishable by heavy fines, the only soporific permitted during sermons is the preacher's voice, and kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Wallach I's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Wallach I is ranked 63,714^th in the world and 21^st in Wallach for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,856.15 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.