The Federal Republic of Velanithia is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Kalman Zhou with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, digital currency, and public floggings. The compassionate, hard-working population of 3.484 billion Velanithians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Elaris. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Velanithian economy, worth 418 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 120,099 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 9.2 times as much as the poorest.

Celebrities sit helplessly as they are labeled "pompous womples" by Kalman Zhou, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, citizens are known to cast their votes by flipping a dollar, and the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Velanithia's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Caelithism.

Velanithia is ranked 307,501^st in the world and 52^nd in Kantrias for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 22.53 on the Bus Surprisal Index.