The United Socialist States of Varock is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Weak Willed William with an iron fist, and notable for its hatred of cheese, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.523 billion Varockians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Free City. The average income tax rate is 74.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Varockian economy, worth 40.8 trillion goobs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 26,766 goobs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, stray cats threaten the fledgling avian-based internet, nude art is becoming wildly popular, and crime is on the rise as DNA sampling has been all but outlawed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Varock's national animal is the House Fly, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Spiffy Cult of Stillness.

Varock is ranked 130,263^rd in the world and 3^rd in Spiffara for Longest Average Lifespans, with 71.42 years.