The Constitutional Monarchy of Vargvalla is a massive, orderly nation, notable for its keen interest in outer space, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.59 billion Vargvallans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 86.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Vargvallan economy, worth 182 trillion umbras a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 114,273 umbras, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, the number of eyes rolled per maths lesson is increasing exponentially, crackheads chase drug-loaded drones in hopes of a lucky drop, and Vargvallan politicians spend a lot of time praising East Lebatuckese policies these days. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vargvalla's national animal is the bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Vargvalla is ranked 322,777^th in the world and 1,249^th in Concord for Rudest Citizens, with 7.02 insults per minute.