The Most Serene Republic of Vampire Weekend is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its public floggings, national health service, and frequent executions. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 4.15 billion Vampire Weekendians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 46.1%.

The all-consuming Vampire Weekendian economy, worth 386 trillion marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Trout Farming, and Book Publishing. Average income is 93,236 marks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 285,689 per year while the poor average 23,554, a ratio of 12.1 to 1.

A National Academy regulates grammar and usage, seasonal hay-fever sufferers are attending government drug counselling sessions to get free doughnuts, diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout, and even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vampire Weekend's national animal is the sheep, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Vampire Weekend is ranked 65,592^nd in the world and 9^th in Playlist for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 50,254.72 Standard Monetary Units.