The Democratic Republic of Valsevik is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its smutty television, daily referendums, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.764 billion Valsans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 97.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Valsan economy, worth a remarkable 1,436 trillion Dollars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 185,036 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Viewers get headaches from trying to read the screen full of small print warnings that precede most TV shows, lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, and every diamond ring sold is accompanied by a twenty-five page analysis and a waiver. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valsevik's national animal is the Coyote, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Valsevik is ranked 5,410^th in the world and 283^rd in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 114.63 law-abiding acts per hour.