The Directorate of Valkalan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Director Vikko with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, unlimited-speed roads, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 30.101 billion Valks are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ravingard. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valk economy, worth an astonishing 22,485 trillion Syns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 747,014 Syns, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,089,628 per year while the poor average 69,622, a ratio of 58.7 to 1.

Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, environmental legislation occurs cyclically, trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, and wait staff claim to like it when odorous customers flirt with them. Crime is totally unknown. Valkalan's national animal is the Orca, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Valkalan is ranked 534^th in the world and 1^st in Zarathustra for Most Corrupt Governments, with 629.76 kickbacks per hour.