The Matriarchy of Val de Cafe is a mammoth, cultured nation, notable for its burgeoning bovina population. The cynical population of 8.601 billion Val de Cafeans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 19.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Val de Cafean economy, worth 383 trillion aurums a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Gambling, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 44,567 aurums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, and conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. Crime is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Val de Cafe's national animal is the bovina, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Val de Cafe is ranked 102,045^th in the world and 1^st in Val de Cafe for Largest Black Market, with 2.39 trillion Standard Monetary Units.