The Great Federation of Vaarland is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Eternal Unifier Mirna Urunensen with a fair hand, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, smutty television, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 13.334 billion vaarlandeses are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vaar. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient vaarlandese economy, worth a remarkable 3,879 trillion vaarlandese crowns a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 290,946 vaarlandese crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, Eternal Unifier Mirna Urunensen is famed for giving great back rubs, the Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby Eternal Unifier Mirna Urunensen Pics" has made Eternal Unifier Mirna Urunensen's mom a celebrity, and board shorts have replaced board rooms. Crime is totally unknown. Vaarland's national animal is the peacock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is secularism.

Vaarland is ranked 332,167^th in the world and 25^th in Calme Ybovien for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 14.72 on the Bus Surprisal Index.