The Watchfires of Uoin is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, public floggings, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 23.663 billion Uoinians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 44.5%.

The enormous but inefficient Uoinian economy, worth a remarkable 1,147 trillion $$s a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 48,490 $$s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

It is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away", cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, and auditors are gutting every governmental department. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Uoin's national animal is the Dolly Varden, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Uoin is ranked 81,189^th in the world and 1^st in The Royal Navy for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,244.47 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.